Mushroom and  are playing his favourite game: Superheroes. He decides we should both be villans and actually achieve our evil plan (blowing up the world), without the interference of Batman, Superman, Spiderman, pizza-eating Turtles or even the Ninjago Ninjas. I ask him if he’s sure he wants the bad guys to win. He says yes. I wonder whether I should say something, that this could be a learning moment, somehow… But then think I’m probably attaching too much meaning to it. As he would say. “It’s JUST A GAME, Mummy”.

So, we run around a lot defeating all the obstacles the imaginary good guys have put in our way (it’s surprising easy to cut through Spiderman’s webs and sidestep a spinjitsu spin when you’re on the other side of the good guy/bad guy party). Then we have the button that will Blow Up The World.

Me: Are u sure we should press this?

Mushroom: Yes, press it.

Me: You want me to? But then there will be no-one left in the whole world!

Mushroom: There will be, there will be us. Press it.

Me: You press it.

Mushroom: *rolls eyes and presses imaginary button*


Mushroom: *side eye* It’s not a noisy one.

Me: Well, ok. We blew up the world. Now what?

Mushroom: Don’t know. Have a cup of tea?

Me: A cup of tea?

Mushroom: Yes, I’ll make it.

Me: Mushroom, that is such a stereotypically British thing to do! *laughing*

Mushroom: …?

I know we are British but this just made me laugh so hard – it was like something from a movie parodying us… We just blew up the world? Time for tea!