Posts with category - Conversations with Mushroom

Conversations with Mushroom: What makes a good Mummy?


Last week when I picked Mushroom up after school, he handed me a folded piece of paper with ‘Mummy’ on the front and told me he had ‘written’ a note for me. It was a child’s handwriting but Mushroom’s is not quite that legible yet so I asked if he really had written it. He said “A big boy helped me at teatime club, I told him my words.” When we got home, I opened up the note to read it. It said:

“I love you Mummy because you are a good Mummy and you are always kind to me.”

I melted.

Me: Mushroom, that is a beautiful, thoughtful note. I will keep it somewhere special.

Mushroom: *proud, slightly bemused* Mummy why is your voice all funny? Are you crying?

Me: No, I’m just full up of love for you. I always am but I’m really feeling it right now.

Mushroom: That’s good..?

Me: Yes, yes it is. Mushroom? What makes a good Mummy, do you think?

Mushroom: *shrugs* I don’t know. Good Mummies do good listening.

Me: All the time?

Mushroom: Yes, even when they are mean.

Me: Are good mummies mean then?

Mushroom: Yes. They have to be when the children are naughty. You were mean to me this morning…

Me: I told you off, yes…

Mushroom: See? But you do good listening. Some Mummies just don’t listen. You don’t listen very well when you do your phone…

Me: I know. That’s why I put my phone away more now.

Mushroom: *nods* Can we play now?

Me: You need to get changed first. And I want to ask you one more thing about good Mummies…

Mushroom: *sighs* Go on then.

Me: Do good Mummies play all the time, and let you eat sweets and watch TV whenever you want..?

Mushroom: *laughs* No! No no no no. Good mummies have to look after you and you can’t have too much sweeties and you need to be good children as well. I am good..?

Me: Most of the time, yes. I guess we are both good, most of the time…

Mushroom: It’s hard to be good all the time…

Me: I know…

Mushroom: Can we finish talking about being good now?

So there you have it. If you do good listening and are ‘mean’ in response to bad behaviour, then you’re a good enough Mummy – according to my four-year old. And it’s ok to be less than perfect*, because “it’s hard to be good all the time”!

What do your kids say about being a good Mummy…?

*If you’re still struggling to let go of your idea of perfection (because it is just that, an idea!), then you may be interested in my brand new four-week course, Proudly Imperfect Parents, which will help you to really let go and embrace all the positives of your perfectly imperfect parenting. The course starts on 22 February and is open for booking now.

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Conversations with Mushroom #10: Back to School

Mushroom and I are walking past his school on his last day off before term starts. It’s the end of an inset day and the teachers are in their classrooms no doubt preparing for today’s lessons.

Mushroom is curious about what he’ll be learning when he goes back and asks if I can see what Miss S (his teacher) is doing. She’s walking between her classroom and the nursery so that tells us nothing. I say I’m sure she has an interesting day planned (and am hoping it’ll be easy going as the kids transition back into their routines). I turn to Mushroom and, knowing that he’s not keen to go back, I think I’ll help him come up with reasons to be happy about returning to school.

Me: What are you most looking forward to about school? Seeing your friends? Your teachers? Learning new things? The mud kitchen in the playground *I’m thinking this one has to be a ‘win’*… Or something else..?

Mushroom: Hometime.

Me: What else?

Mushroom: Just hometime and Mummy.

Me: Ok. What will you enjoy until hometime..?

Mushroom: Waiting for hometime.

I think he’s made himself pretty clear! I wasn’t too excited about getting up before 6am today but it’s ok. I’m enjoying the silence…. So maybe he’ll find things to be happy about by the end of the day! Wish us luck 😉

Did you go back to school/work yesterday? I hope both you and your kids found something positive about it all!


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Conversations with Mushroom #9: The End of the World


Mushroom and  are playing his favourite game: Superheroes. He decides we should both be villans and actually achieve our evil plan (blowing up the world), without the interference of Batman, Superman, Spiderman, pizza-eating Turtles or even the Ninjago Ninjas. I ask him if he’s sure he wants the bad guys to win. He says yes. I wonder whether I should say something, that this could be a learning moment, somehow… But then think I’m probably attaching too much meaning to it. As he would say. “It’s JUST A GAME, Mummy”.

So, we run around a lot defeating all the obstacles the imaginary good guys have put in our way (it’s surprising easy to cut through Spiderman’s webs and sidestep a spinjitsu spin when you’re on the other side of the good guy/bad guy party). Then we have the button that will Blow Up The World.

Me: Are u sure we should press this?

Mushroom: Yes, press it.

Me: You want me to? But then there will be no-one left in the whole world!

Mushroom: There will be, there will be us. Press it.

Me: You press it.

Mushroom: *rolls eyes and presses imaginary button*


Mushroom: *side eye* It’s not a noisy one.

Me: Well, ok. We blew up the world. Now what?

Mushroom: Don’t know. Have a cup of tea?

Me: A cup of tea?

Mushroom: Yes, I’ll make it.

Me: Mushroom, that is such a stereotypically British thing to do! *laughing*

Mushroom: …?

I know we are British but this just made me laugh so hard – it was like something from a movie parodying us… We just blew up the world? Time for tea!




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Conversations with Mushroom #8: Getting married

Mushroom and his friend (let’s call him Pizza* because he likes pizza and I’ve stuck with the food theme for all of Mushroom’s friends so far) are playing upstairs. The come down, noisily. Both boys are ‘dressed up’ in clothes from the ‘he’ll grow into it’ box from his cousin. These clothes are for 10 year olds and Mushoom and his friend are four. Both boys are wearing jewelry – Mushroom has a Jamaica pendant on and Pizza is wearing one of my old nursing necklaces.

Me: Well, you two are all dressed up!

Mushroom: *proud* Yes, we are getting married!

Pizza: Yes, it’s a wedding.

Me: That’s exciting!

Mushroom: We have to go now.

Pizza: Yes, after the wedding it’s a birthday so we have to go to our party.

Me: A birthday..?

Mushroom: Yes, for the party Mummy…

*Pizza and Mushroom give each other the look*

Clearly, I have a lot to learn about weddings…! 😉



Conversations with Mushroom #7: A sense of humour

The one where I realise Mushroom has started to develop a real sense of humour… And has learned the art of keeping a straight face.

We’re in the swimming pool changing rooms, getting ready to have a quick swim together before Mushroom’s lesson. I take my jeans and t-shirt off and am ready to go as I had my swimsuit on underneath. Mushroom is half naked.

Mushroom: Come on then.

Me: You’re not ready yet.

Mushroom: No, you’re not ready yet.

Me: What? I mean, why do you say that?

Mushroom: Mummy.  You have to take ALL your clothes off to go swimming!

Me: But Mushroom. Then I’d be naked. *Thinking this is the end of the conversation*

Mushroom: Yes. You have to go naked today. I told you yesterday*

Me: *confused* Why are we having this conversation?

Mushroom: *serious face* Get undressed Mummy, hurry up!


Mushroom: Your face! Haha Mummy I tricked ya! It’s a JOKE! *cracks up laughing*


*’yesterday’ meaning anytime in the past month or two. Or three.



Conversations with Mushroom #6: What colour is your finity?

Mushroom and I are talking about love and numbers one evening before bedtime.

Mushroom: I love you Mummy.

Me: I love you too. I love you so much.

Mushroom: How much? I love you to 10, 11, 12, 16, 18, 19!

Me: I love you much more than that.

Mushroom: How much? A really big number?

Me: Well, you can count forever, and we say ‘infinity’ to mean on and on and on…

Mushroom: Infinity? Like counting forever and ever and ever?

Me: Yes baby.

Mushroom: I’m not a baby!

Me: Ok. I know, you’re Mushroom. Mushroom, I love you infinity.

Mushroom: *smiles, excited* …and I love you to the other finity! The red one!


Mushroom: What colour is your finity Mummy?



Conversations with Mushroom #5: Supermarket sister

We are half-watching Peppa Pig (again). Mushroom is asking me to re-tell a complicated made-up story about how Peppa took him into the TV and he is ‘Mushroom Pig.’ He stops to watch as Peppa and George are getting ready for bed.

Mushroom: Mummy can I have a bunk bed one day?

Me: I don’t know Mushroom. Peppa and George share a room so they need two beds that don’t take up much space. There’s just you in your room so you don’t really need a bunk bed, do you?

Mushroom: *Thoughtful* No. I don’t have a brother or a sister.*

Me: No…

Mushroom: Maybe we should get one…

Me: Get one?

Mushroom: Yes, we could buy me a sister.

Me: Um, where do you think we could buy a sister from Mushroom?

Mushroom: The supermarket.

Me: …and how much do you think we would need?

Mushroom: £2.


Mushroom: Mummy? Can you make up a story about me and I’m Mushroom Pig? You didn’t finish!

This really threw me, as one of Mushroom’s favourite books is Babette Cole’s ‘Mummy Laid an Egg!’ So he knows where babies come from!

*If anyone is wondering whether Mushroom is getting a brother or sister, I’ll just refer you to this post, which should cover it.



Conversations with Mushroom #4: Superheroes glue

Day 1:

Mushroom: *hands me a toy car with a bit missing* Broken Mummy. Daddy didn’t do it…

Me: *raises eyebrow* Daddy didn’t? Did you, Mushroom…?

Mushroom: No! But Daddy didn’t anyway. Can you fix this?

Me: Yes, but I’ll need superglue… and don’t worry about it, accidents happen and you can still play with it.

Day 2:

Mushroom: Mummy this car is still broken…

Me: Oh yes, I haven’t done anything about fixing it yet have I?

Mushroom: No, because you have to buy some superhero glue

Me: Superhero glue?

Mushroom: Yes, it’s a bit special. My glue is not superheroes one. But I can try!

Day 3:

Mushroom: *serious face* Mummy.

Me: Yes, Mushroom?

Mushroom: *hands me car covered in Pritt Stick* My glue is not a superheroes one.

I still haven’t fixed this car. I just haven’t got round to buying superheroes glue yet 😉




Conversations with Mushroom #3: Taking the Mickey

It’s bedtime. Mushroom does not like bedtime. Actually, that’s not true. He loves the bath, the stories, the cuddles… He hates the bit where he’s supposed to go to sleep. Some nights I have the patience for it. This was not one of them. After complaining of hunger, needing the toilet, feeling to hot, to cold… You name it. He tried it… He then went back to ‘I’m hungry Mummy.’ I’d had enough and wasn’t very gracious about it. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Mushroom. Are you taking the p… taking the Mickey?

Mushroom: What?

Me: Don’t say ‘what,’ say ‘pardon’. And I said: Are you taking the Mickey out of me? Hungry, really? Again?

Mushroom: *gets out of bed*

Me: (furious) What do you think you’re doing?

Mushroom: *picking up Mickey Mouse soft toy from his chair* You told me to get Mickey out for you!


Mushroom: (confused) You said: Are you getting Mickey out for me..? Here. *hands me Mickey*


Mushroom: I’m hungry Mummy. Are you listening me?




Conversations with Mushroom #2: It’s NOT a cafe!

Mr B, Mushroom and I were walking back from a family afternoon out. As we passed a local primary school, Mr B and I started to discuss whether it would be worth considering this one as one of Mushroom’s choices. Mushroom was clearly interested in the conversation and eventually asked…

Mushroom: MummyDaddy what you talking?

Mr B: *points to school playground* Mushroom, do you know what this is?

Mushroom: Yes. It a school. It’s MY school. When I am bigger.

Mr B & Me: It might be your school, yes…

Mushroom: *nods knowingly*

Mr B: *to me* Can we include it though? It’s Catholic…

Me: I think faith schools have to accept some non religious students don’t they? I don’t know… It’s a good school from what I know but yes, it is a Catholic school…

Mushroom: It’s NOT A CAFE!

Mr B & Me: What??

Mushroom: *sighs* It’s not a cafe MummyDaddy. It’s MY school. For when I bigger. Ok?

If you read Conversations with Mushroom#1, you might start to notice a theme here..!