I turned four this year. This means I am big. Big enough to go to big school, which starts in the Autumn – that’s when the leaves change colour. I know all about the seasons now, I learned this at nursery. I know lots of things. Numbers, colours, shapes… My favourite colour is blue and my favourite shape is a triangle. Mummy likes circles. I asked her. I know all of these things (and more!) because I am big.
I’m a bit scared, though
I love nursery. I’ve been there a long time and I know all my teachers and I have a lot of friends. I know where the toilets are and what we do at lunchtime (wash our hands, get our placemats out, sit nicely). I know when we have snack time and what to do if I feel poorly (tell a grown-up). School is going to be a big change. Big! Bigger than me! Mummy is going to take me to visit before the summer holidays and this will help but still… Will there be enough grown-ups there to look after all of us? If I’m poorly will someone still phone my Mummy? Where will I go to the toilet? What do I need to do at lunchtime? So many questions! I spoke to Mummy and she said that everyone in my class will be wondering the same things.
Everyone’s a little bit scared
Mummy said that even she still gets scared when she’s doing something new. I asked her what she does about it and she said that sometimes, she avoids the new things but eventually she has to do them. So she takes a deep breath and gives it a go. She said it doesn’t matter if I don’t do everything right because it will take me a while to know what ‘right’ is for some things, and that’s ok. I’m not sure about that (I don’t like to get things wrong, even though Mummy says it doesn’t matter. It matters to me!). I think I will be doing a lot of deep breathing when I start school. I’m looking forward to learning lots of new things though.
My brain will grow
Will all this new learning fit in my brain? Mummy says it will grow so that I can fit in both the stuff I already know, and the new stuff. That’s a lot. I was worried my head would then be too big for my body but she explained that it’s a different kind of growing. She has quite a lot of stuff in her brain and her head looks ok so maybe she’s right.
Butterflies and bumblebees
Sometimes, when I think about scary things, I can feel bumblebees around me. Mummy said that some people call that butterflies in their tummy. I really like butterflies but I don’t want them in my tummy! I do not like bumblebees as much (although they do look quite nice, they sting!). When I meditate with Mummy (we just sit quietly and breathe. Sometimes she talks, softly. I like to cross my legs) the bumblebees go away. Sometimes I feel a little bit like there are bumblebees when I’m excited too. Mummy said that being excited and being scared sometimes feels similar, so maybe I’m a bit excited about school… I don’t know… I am looking forward to having a big playground to play in though, and wearing a uniform! The big kids in the park wear uniforms. I want to be like them. I hope my uniform is a colour I like.
Maybe school will be ok. I will let you know what I think when I’ve actually started!
Can you remember when you started school? Were you scared? Do you still get scared now..?