Whether you work full-time, part-time, or are a stay-at-home-mum, I’m pretty confident that at least once since you had your child (or children), you’ve been asked ‘How do you manage?’ I know I’ve asked it several times – of Mums who seem to have so much more on their plate than I – more work/more kids/less help – it’s hard not to compare and wonder whether you’re doing enough.
On the flip side, though, is that I have been asked the same question – I often think ‘Well I work part-time and I only have one child so how busy can I really be? A friend pointed out recently that actually, I am pretty busy. So, how do I manage? Well, I’m sure I’m not the only one who might respond with ‘I juggle.’
The thing with juggling though, is that it takes some practice, and even experts can drop a ball from time to time. I guess the trick is remembering which balls it’s ok to drop. A long time before I had Mushroom, someone told me a story about juggling – I don’t remember it exactly but it was a metaphor for life (you may have heard something similar) about how some of the balls – family and health stand out but I’m sure there was at least one more – are glass. If you drop these, they might break.
I actually think that family is more than one ball – don’t you? We all have individual relationships with our children, partners, parents, siblings and extended family members (this extends to in-laws if you have them) – that’s quite a lot to keep up with. You might want to throw some of your friends into the mix as well. Then there’s another ball for friends as these are important too, another for health, and so on. It’s tiring just thinking about it! I imagine most of us are juggling other balls too – they may be different for different people but many tie in to these glass ones. For example, although career aspirations may vary, we all need to earn enough money to stay healthy and feed our families – dropping that ball could impact on all the others.
At the moment, I work part-time (in communications) and Mushroom only goes to nursery on the days I work so the rest of the time he’s with me. On these ‘days off’ as they are often laughingly referred to, I spend quality time with Mushroom – (that’s a glass ball, that one), write two blogs (hence the usual weekly post or less), promote these posts on twitter and other forums as well as other commitments related to these blogs. I also do the occasional bit of freelance coaching and writing and have started writing a novel (that ball has been dropped several times). Then of course there’s all the usual ‘life’ stuff that everyone has – banking/finance admin, housework/shopping etc. Most of this I do when Mushroom is asleep, which is far less than it used to be (and it wasn’t much to start with) and I think he may drop his lunchtime nap soon (Argh! What will I do? Drop another ball I expect).
So – Of all of this, the most important ‘balls’ for me are immediate family, my job/career (this includes the coaching and writing), my health, my ‘other’ writing (by this I mean personal unpaid projects like pro bono work and my novel) and my friends. Family comes first, alongside my closest friends, but the order of the other balls changes from time to time. Work is too often above health so I’m trying to change this!
How do I manage? Routine, routine, routine. It really does help, although of course it’s good to break the routine once in a while too. Early nights help too – I’m usually in bed before 11, anticipating a 6am start, if not before.
Which are your most important balls? And how do you make sure you don’t drop them?
Photo credit: By audfriday13 at www.freedigitalphotos.net
I think it’s amazing how much we all actually keep up with, when you think about it! My most important balls are my family, and my health, I do make time to go to the gym regularly. I’m not out working at the moment, but I’m hoping to come up with some bits that I can do from home, so I work on that too. For me it’s all about routine and planning. So I think of the things that I want to do with the children the day before, and gym trips are scheduled in advance. I also have a planner for my blogging/writing which really helps to make sure I get everything done.
Thanks for reading and commenting Jennifer! A planner for writing is a good idea – sometimes I have one, sometimes I don’t… It depends what else is going on but I guess I probably need to rethink how much I take on – I can’t remember the last time I went to the gym… I do manage the odd zumba class at the children’s centre (with creche thankfully) though!
A very thought provoking post. One thing I have learnt recently, is that if I’m to pick up another (new) ball, I have to get rid of one I’m already trying to juggle. I didnt’ do this in the past and you can imagine the mess!
Hi Suzanne. That’s a really obvious solution but it’s not one I have been doing lately so thanks for sharing! I am going to think about which balls I can get rid of (or at least put aside for a while) in the near future. Great advice. We learn best from our mistakes don’t we? Hopefully I can avoid getting into too much more of a mess now 😉
To be honest, I don’t know how my wife copes with three kids and a part-time job which frequently spills over into evening work. I try to help out as much as I can, but the reality is that I typically leave too early to be of much help in the morning, and while I’m usually home to help with bedtime (which I love), I’m also back late/out/away overnight at least once or twice a week. I find it hard enough to organise myself!
It is hard but it sounds like you do quite a lot to help out!