Earlier this month, I read a great post by Leoarna (from Not different but interesting) over at babyhuddle.   The title, ‘Things my daughter would ask me if she could,’ is pretty self explanatory. Leoarna imagined herself on the panel at Question Time, with her almost-four-year-old daughter asking questions from the audience. The questions are great – some I’m sure we all ask ourselves at times, and Leoarna’s answers are considered and honest. Go and have a read of it and them come back (please). I’ll wait for you. Shall I put the kettle on?

You came back! Thanks. Here’s a cuppa.

Is herbal tea ok..?

Ok, I’m not going to try and write anything as deep as what you’ve just read, but I am going to Kind of ‘steal’ Leonara’s idea (hope that’s ok!). My angle is more like that of Redpeffer’s recent laugh-out-loud blog post, ‘A morning in the life of my two year old.’  I have just discoved Redpeffer’s blog via Britmums, and will be back for more!

If you’ve been following me, you may have read last month’s post ‘Look who’s talking,’ about Mushroom’s limited vocabulary. So, I often imagine what he’s asking me (if I can’t figure out what he’s actually saying) and then answer that.  It makes for some curious conversations…

Mushroom (upon waking): ‘Oh no! Dee dee boo, duck!’ (Starts lifting covers and throwing pillow out of cot). ‘Mummy, duck?’ (more urgently)
My translation: I dreamed that I lost my duck! Help me find it!
My answer: That’s a funny dream! I think your ducks are in the bathroom though, they sleep there don’t they?
Mushroom’s response: Confused face. ‘No, Mummy…’ (Sighs and gives up no the whole duck thing.) ‘Up!’ Starts trying to climb out of cot.

Mushroom: ‘Banana!’ (Points to fruit bowl)
My translation: Can I have a banana? (a reasonable guess, right? I thought so)
My answer: ‘Of course you can. Here you go.’ (Hands over banana)
Mushroom’s response: ‘No!’ Cries hysterically. (Turns out he wanted an apple, which he can say. Hmmm)

Mushroom: Points and CD player (kept under the TV) and dances a little. ‘Mummy? Peas?’
My translation: I want to listen to music and dance. Can you put some music on please?
My answer: ‘You want music? (nods enthusiastically) ‘Ok, let’s dance.’ (I put a CD on)
Mushroom’s response: ‘No!’ Throws himself dramatically on the sofa and cries (turns out he wanted to watch his Baby Einstein Baby Beethoven dvd. Took a while to get to that one! He did dance to it though. That was new)

Mushroom: As we walk along the street ‘Mummy, duck! Da da dee teef… lalala (singing) a, b…. one… Mummy, woo woo?’
My translation: ‘Do dogs ride bikes Mummy? With their teeth?’
My answer: No Mushroom, not usually. Although we might be able to find something on Youtube.’
Mushroom’s response:’…’ (A long sideways look and silence for the next five minutes)

Mushroom: Whinging ‘Maaaameeee. Dar, dar?’ (signs ‘car’)
My translation: Are we getting a lift with our friends to go to swimming this morning?’
My answer: ‘Yes we are. They’ll be here in a minute so we had better get ready
Mushrrom’s response: ‘Yeah!’ (runs off to get shoes). Yeah, sometimes I get it right.

Perhaps I will come up with some more serious questions – like: ‘Why must you change my nappy as soon as its dirty?’ ‘Why can’t I cut my own apple with that super sharp knife?’ and ‘Why can’t I eat the soap?’ next time…